It’s been over 12 months since since I declared i had been fixed from a debilitating eating disorder (Selective Eating Disorder)
Things have been relatively easy considering I was literally debilitated by it from being a toddler.
There isnt anything I am no longer willing to try , even foods I said i’d NEVER eat , it just takes having the will and the right motivator to be able to do it.
It’s not all been totally plain sailing though , one of the things that caused my SED was choking on food to the point of passing out as a youngster (there were a few other evens in close succession but that was always the major factor in my mind)
It is with difficulty then that I recall something that happened this summer, I was home alone , eating a vindaloo when off of a sudden , my wind pipe became TOTALLY blocked with food.
I hadn’t put too much food in, it turns out that there might be a medial reason behind it, but I’ll come back to you on that later on.
I was choking out, turning blue, I couldn’t shout , there was no point in calling 999, there was no one home but me , my thoughts turned to “shit I might not make it” , I literally took matters into my own hands and attempted to make myself sick….i failed, I was panic struck, so I did the only thing I could think of and stuck my hand down my throat to get the offending piece of meat , I , it worked and my airways rushed with oxygen again I was emotional, I had come SO close to not making it.
Within seconds I recalled what happened to me as a toddler and worried that this incident was going to set me back on the eating disorder road again
but the thing with adversity is, its not what happens to you, its how you deal with it.
So the next day I had exacity the same meal and you know what , it was fine, I was a little worried, but it was fine and to this day, I have since had no problems in trying new things and now have a very healthy diet , properly balanced like never before.
I have admittedly gained a couple of stone in the last 12 months , it’s under control and I am not worried, mainly because it can be fully explained and I am now losing weight back to where I was 12 months ago, so lets look at the reasons:
1: Trying a MILLION different types of new foods -Some healthy, some not, it’s a whole new world and it’s taken time to re adjust , speaking of unhealthy foods, I give you !!!!
2: I have been diagnosed with Spinal stenosis, slipped disks and arthritis meaning my time on the bike has been very much limited , I have still managed to get a few KOMS though fearless riding though :0) , all other activity has lead to debilitating pain , I have no intention of giving up staying fit, but things have changed for me now, there also maybe further medical diagnosis headed my way.
3: Starting a new Job , with FARRRRRR too many biscuits and a load of take aways far too close.
So , how do you deal with it , you remember that you and you alone are in charge of your future .
I now spend the time cooking pasta each evening for work the next day to avoid to Take Away Temptation , I drink 2 liters of water (admittedly sometimes with a shot of Vimto) to stave off the biscuit temptations , and where my lifestyle and heath allows , I try and get in a few miles on the bike, albeit slower than before.
I have taken control of my eating disorder for good, I have discovered foods from around the world and I have taken back control over my food intake once again , it’s not easy , but as long as you keep an eye on the “NEVER ENDING FINISHING LINE ” you , like me, can achieve ANYTHING , no matter what your physical state.
I have also got a review of something called a “Firefly device” coming up in the next few weeks, anyone want me to run a competition to win one ?
PS, My fav photo of 2013